From My Perspective...

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Have you ever heard someone explain the definition of the word insanity? If so, it’s probably their passive aggressive way of trying to tell you that you need to stop making the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.  It may not be the kindest way to tell you to grow up, but there’s definitely truth to the message they were attempting to convey.  If you want your life to change, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE.

I used to look at all of my personal struggles as proof of all the lies that had crept into my mind over the course of over 30 years of trial and error.  Each perceived failure felt like an affirmation of those lies.  My boyfriend cheated on me…God hates gay people.  I couldn’t get hired to bartend at a hot nightclub…I suck and no one values me.  My friends didn’t invite me to go get trashed…I’m not fun.  I got fired from a network TV job…I’m not talented.  Those were my truths, because I had accepted what I thought was the life I deserved, until I didn’t.

For me it took a lot of rock bottom moments to knock some sense into me.  I thought the world was shutting me out, when it was actually setting me up…for a much better life.  I’ll explain.

As I opened myself up and began asking the difficult questions, I started to receive answers I didn’t expect.  My boyfriend cheated on me, because I was destined for a love greater than he could ever provide.  I’ve been with my partner for nearly 6 years and will one day marry him.  I couldn’t get a job as a bartender, because it was time for me to move on from that season of my life.  I’ve worked as a television host for the past 5 years and I’m about to publish my first book.  My friends didn’t want to get wasted with me anymore, because they knew that I was moving on to a bigger, more purposeful life and drinking was never my favorite pastime anyway.  FOX let me go from a show that did not fulfill me and that would later get cancelled for low ratings…I dodged a bullet.

While I wallowed, I saw each of these things as proof that I was not worthy.  I was unwilling to consider than any of these scenarios were anything other than punishment for being a crappy person.  I’d never considered that each was actually a blessing in disguise, guiding me towards the life I was actually created to live. 

What changed?  Why could I suddenly look back with gratitude for each of these setbacks, instead of wallowing in my own self pity?  That answer is simple and very complicated at the same time.  I had to put in the work and re-examine my own personal journey, that part took time and a lot of heartache.  I’d like you to avoid some of that, so I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Nothing ACTUALY physically changed, except for my perspective and in making that small shift, EVERYTHING changed.

By getting honest with myself and allowing the answers to move me, I was able to get real about my past and look forward to my future.  If the prospect of a new day doesn’t excite you 365 days out of the year, it’s time to re-examine your perspective on life.  If you are reading this, you have air in your lungs and reason to be grateful.  Life isn’t always easy, but there is always more than one way to look at any situation life throws your way.  A simple shift in perspective might be the thing you need to get out of your current reality and into the one you were created to live.

Here’s an exercise that will help you to see that you’ve already developed the skill set needed to make this shift.  Take out a pen and paper and write down 3 scenarios in your life that seemed insurmountable at the time, until you overcame each of them.  Write down how each situation seemed in your mind and then write down how you were able to overcome each.  Keep this paper in your night stand or in your glove box and pull it out each time you need a reminder that you are capable of overcoming life’s obstacles.    You’ve been shifting your perspective for as long as you can remember and creating lemonade out of lemons…THAT is the truth.  Hold onto that and remember the next time life throws you a curveball and know that it’s really a blessing and an opportunity to shift, to become stronger and to live in your purpose.